I'd have never written about this taboo topic on my own, but it seems to be God's leading that I address it. It came up in some personal correspondence and it seemed like there were a number of messages that might apply to all. I'll give God the credit for leading me to post that topic. I'm having many little God experiences as I do this but no return of former gifts yet.
I've just been told I won't be able to share my messages anymore, good or bad. I thought they lended credibility but He's the boss. Since Jesus isn't giving me word of knowledge, my sweet, godly real estate agent, who's heard messages from Him all her life, seems to have been assigned the position of go between. I'm encouraged to use a bit of humor to lighten things up but shouldn't get too carried away. That part's already edited out.
Obviously I truly believe God has a sense of humor. In my counseling session with Jesus from Zephania 3, at some point in my development, "He will take great delight in you, in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing." I'm crying as I write this. Thank you God, thank you Jesus. I'd always thought of God as being ready to strike me down with one sin too many but now I have a loving Father. We all do. He loves each and every one of us dearly and wants what's best for us. He wants us to choose to love Him back but won't force us. We have free will.
About my desire for the right wife, I pointed out to Him that I'm not going to clean up enough to stand before Him without one and that I'd have a lot more time to do His research with a woman who could help me with my remodeling, work around the house and yard.
There're some wants, cravings and needs, (maybe not needs but it feels like needs to me) that aren't going away unless He makes me a eunuch and I'm not volunteering for that. I'm in something of a resort community and there's just too much fine, tanned, skimpily clad young flesh running around everywhere I look. There's a fine young woman who comes into the gym every day who's main nefarious motive seems to be to distract me from getting my workout done. She wears hot pink, short shorts that occasionally show just a little too much...or maybe not nearly enough depending on perspective. With months of celibacy it's hard for me not to lust.
It would be a simple matter for Him to give the right woman a dream, make her feel intense love for me and give her the question, which answers another question, then put us at the right place to bump into each other. We'll have to be compatible as I won't be able to be stressing out about anything if I'm supposed to get Jesus like before God the Father will talk to me directly. I've had dreams like that, feeling an intense love for someone. I wouldn't recommend to just anyone to ask for a mate this way, you might go through life alone but my case is unique.
It seems to me it would accomplish God's purposes for Him to do this for me and I'm sure He's tired of all my crying and begging. God gets what He wants and I get the desire of my heart, win, win. If necessary I could hole up away from people with a wife to go into the world for groceries and errands. I don't watch tv now and have been mostly staying off the internet except for email and this blog.
He put me in places where 2 different prophets across the country from each other, I hadn't sought out, gave me a similar message. "I see you've been under attack by a Jezebel spirit, dig into your Bible, "I have been," I interrupted. "NO, LISTEN TO ME!" she scolded, "I mean really dig into your Bible and expect a break through on the order of Elijah," she said, this from Dr. Keyton, I had no clue what a Jezebel spirit was and didn't know what she was talking about until I read her books. I was just tagging along with family I was visiting to some guest speaker function at a former boys home. "Dig and dig, move dirt and rock, dig some more, first ray, dig and dig, move more dirt and rock, second ray, keep going, dig and dig, move a bit more dirt and rock, I see you there sitting in the treasure," from a Healing House prophet. Ok, I went there on my own but it was because my mentor at the time, Lady Barnabas told me by word of knowledge, God wanted me to go there. It was a third, a mentor of my brother who prayed for me for help with forgiveness of my father who tossed in at the end, "And by the way, you're going to be inventing a new technolongy." I heard the same thing from a Healing House prophet as listed at the botton of LEVELS OF UNDERSTANDING / FIRST RAY, He'll have to give me that, I don't have any ideas. I did seek out the third, Cindy Wilson of blogspot radio who told me about the strong healing anointing I'm to get. Here's a glimpse into my private life with some messages that would make a good posting so instead of duplicating I'm going to let you see some personal correspondence:
It's a very mysterious world God has created and there are certain rules and there are things we don't know about but I'm learning fast. I just learned in HE'S ASKING FOR A HARLOT and HEDGE OF THORNS that our thoughts can become our prayers. I had no clue about that. I think masturbation is a sin though there's much argument about it. One of the fruits of the spirit is self control and we're told to keep our "vessels" pure and holy. I read where a translation of the greek for the word "vessel" could also be penis. Nobody comes out and says it clearly in the Bible, they're very discreet. But then when married, anything goes I think but sodomy. God makes the rules, we're supposed to try to follow. Most people don't even know what sin is according to god. According to God, "Sin is transgression against the Law". So is it against one of God's Law? With soul ties and demon transfer during sex, the emotional attachments that form and emotional turmoil a breakup can cause, I understand why it's so important to God. A piece of our soul breaks off and is shared with our partners, great in a marriage, not with multiple partners though, it's all somewhere in the blog. I don't know if that's in the Bible, but I do know, anything about God, should be in the Bible. If it's not in the Bible then man made it up.
Yes we are supposed to be sexually attracted to each other and there have been many problems such as the creation of demons from a bit too much sex drive. I've said that a few times in the blog, it seems God gave men too much sex drive, it's good to hear from women that they have trouble with it too.
A prophet's main job was to teach the people, which I'm doing now, but they also had the gift of prophecy which I don't have now, but once had a tiny experience with. I can't call myself a prophet until God flips the switch and tells me something or Jesus gives me something. i got another word today but it was just one word, education.
Oh by the way, my go between or guide is about 70, a bit overweight, a kindly, loving woman who reminds me of my grandmother, nothing romantic going to happen there. That's funny. Lol I feel stupid now. The gift of prophecy from Jesus is limited to a sentence with 2 or 3 phrases, not like the books of old. Those prophets didn't have Jesus so were hearing from God. Since Jesus came, he intercedes between us and God, but I think the breakthrough I'm after is direct contact with God for more information. There seems to be some set of rules He has to follow, why do I have to figure it all out and get to this super high level of understanding the Bible? Why can't He just come to me if He makes all the rules, meet me half way or something? He has met you already. You have great knowledge of God, which will go over the average persons' head. It's not because it is your choice to have it. Rather, it's because God chose you to have great knowledge of him. God has a purpose for you. I know He has to keep His agreements like satan's right to rule the world.
Something peculiar there too. It seems he has a working relationship with satan. Satan has to get everything he does cleared with God like tormenting Job. God gives him permission to go do things and many times they are in God's interest, like the 3 year trial I had. God keeps His hands clean and turns somebody over to satan but it's the same difference to whoever is getting punished. So in a way, satan is serving God. In one case a deceiving spirit came to God in the old testament and offered to go deceive all the king's prophets but a prophet of God went against them. If God and satan are in a battle against each other, why are they working together? Good Question. I'm going to research that.
I'm going to disagree with you on "If it's not in the Bible, then man made it up." Not everything is in the Bible and Jesus still teaches his people. Most people don't get near the real Jesus. Look back at my posting COUNSELING WITH THE HOLY SPIRIT where Chris prayed in tongues, then interpreted them. If you're reading my stuff, you see where the Holy Spirit is Jesus's spirit, (John 16: 13 - 15). Look what Jesus told her when she interpreted the tongues. HE HAD US RENOUNCE SOUL TIES. Also in the blog, in some circles that hear from Jesus, soul ties are common knowledge and it was embarrassing for me in a session with 3 Healing House prophets when one told me, "Jesus is going to take all the broken pieces of your soul and make a beautiful mosaic." Everyone in that group heard from Jesus and at that time I'd learned about soul ties so all knew very clearly that I'd had a lot of sex partners.
Yes, I do go over most people's heads and it's puzzling to me. Most everyone I talk to, including pastors seem clueless to me. I think I stumped another yesterday with some questions and he's baptized in the Spirit. Satan has a dark prince named Blindness. Sorry if this sounds arrogant but it sometimes seems everybody but me is under the influence of the spirit named Blindness.
I've read satan has control of our churches. I was debating about salvation with a small group leader last night and Hebrews 6: 4 - 6 and the man couldn't seem to understand the English. "It is impossible for those who have once been enlightened, who have tasted the heavenly gift, who have shared in the Holy Spirit, who have tasted the word of God and the powers of the coming age and who have fallen away, to be brought back to repentance." He was managing to interpret as it's impossible to not stay saved once you're saved.
I've read satan has control of our churches. I was debating about salvation with a small group leader last night and Hebrews 6: 4 - 6 and the man couldn't seem to understand the English. "It is impossible for those who have once been enlightened, who have tasted the heavenly gift, who have shared in the Holy Spirit, who have tasted the word of God and the powers of the coming age and who have fallen away, to be brought back to repentance." He was managing to interpret as it's impossible to not stay saved once you're saved.
He was arguing that maybe they were never saved and I pointed out if they "have shared in the Holy Spirit" that would mean baptized in the Holy Spirit, probably with a supernatural gift, as I had when Chris moved in with me. Then they went out and lived in sin, as I did for 3 years with another man's wife, then they couldn't be brought back to repentance meaning they're done, going to hell.
For a while I thought I was doomed, but went to the Healing House prophets expecting a scolding but got a message of forgiveness. We have a loving, forgiving God but I believe there's only so much He's going to put up with, then you get to regret what you've done for eternity in a dark place all alone. This guy, as do many I speak with have some preconceived notion he wouldn't let go of regardless of the logic I gave him. He kept hanging on to, "If God is sovereign, that means He had to have created demons." he thought demons were fallen angels and he's teaching spiritual warfare. Scary what's going on in our churches. The anti christ will have no trouble duping most of the people I come across.
For a while I thought I was doomed, but went to the Healing House prophets expecting a scolding but got a message of forgiveness. We have a loving, forgiving God but I believe there's only so much He's going to put up with, then you get to regret what you've done for eternity in a dark place all alone. This guy, as do many I speak with have some preconceived notion he wouldn't let go of regardless of the logic I gave him. He kept hanging on to, "If God is sovereign, that means He had to have created demons." he thought demons were fallen angels and he's teaching spiritual warfare. Scary what's going on in our churches. The anti christ will have no trouble duping most of the people I come across.
Satan owns most of our churches, he has the deed to earth and is "the ruler of the air." Adam gave him the deed. I wrote earlier that most churches are 98% good 2% bad, maybe it's more like 90 / 10, the actual recipe for rat poison. I wrote, "If you swallow that , you're going to die too."
Jesus warns that very few make it to heaven. Most people believe satan's lies about once saved, always saved and think they have a license to sin. I suspect the majority of folks sitting in American churches, thinking they have a fire policy, are going to hell, but probably a nicer hell, one of the shades of darkness where they get to think about it all alone for eternity vs. the lake of fire, synonymous I think with lake of burning sulfur or bottomless pit, I think synonymous with the abyss. See posting LEVELS OF HELL
Maybe God is merciful and after a couple thousand years brings everyone into heaven but I don't see that in the Bible.
Some more puzzlement about God, maybe He's not as powerful as we give him credit. If at any given split second there's an infinite number of possible worlds we may create with the tiniest action, like a butterfly flapping its wings somewhere leading to a tornado a thousand miles away, how can God keep track of it all. The math would be something like infinity to the power of infinity times infinity to the power of infinity. That math doesn't actually work, it's kind of like my math genius son's explanation of how, "to God a day is like a thousand years and a thousand years are like a day" involving calculations with light where we're trying to divide over zero and crazy implications happen. That's in a email way back there but I can't find it quickly. Go back and read if you'd like to learn something. If God's only got one infinity working for Him, maybe there're just too many possible future outcomes for even Him to be able to predict it all and I'm truly sorry God if that's blasphemous but again, you sent me here.
I'd been hoping to be enjoying life with my new wife right about now, not trying to work 2 jobs, one for myself, one for God and living alone. God, let me remind you, early on you said, "It is not good for man to live alone." Just in case you forgot. Hopefully the one you're going to give me will make this all worth while. Thank you God for the perfect playmate you're about to give me, maybe this afternoon.
The group leader I debated with argued that God must have created demons if He's sovereign but no they weren't part of His plan or the Nephilim and Rephaim either but I couldn't get through to him. He's teaching on this topic.
I'd been hoping to be enjoying life with my new wife right about now, not trying to work 2 jobs, one for myself, one for God and living alone. God, let me remind you, early on you said, "It is not good for man to live alone." Just in case you forgot. Hopefully the one you're going to give me will make this all worth while. Thank you God for the perfect playmate you're about to give me, maybe this afternoon.
The group leader I debated with argued that God must have created demons if He's sovereign but no they weren't part of His plan or the Nephilim and Rephaim either but I couldn't get through to him. He's teaching on this topic.
If God knows everything about the future, why did He send down the watchers if He knew they were going to mess up His plan, have sex with women leading to demons? He chained them up somewhere until judgment day unless satan manages to unleash them with the Hadron Collider. The scientists are suspecting they might actually get into another dimension so satan truly may be bringing in reinforcements in September. Why did God make Saul king if He knew He was going to regret doing it? Why did God create humanity then destroy most with the flood if He knew He was going to regret it? Maybe he flooded the earth to block any more demons from forming but the Bible doesn't tell us that.
There's much the Bible doesn't tell us, then people get upset with me for going outside of it to explain questions it doesn't answer but I can tie everything back to scripture. I could spend years and never find all the hidden meaning but maybe I'm getting close. I don't look at the notes in my Bible anymore. That guy doesn't understand how angels could have sex with women so He comes up with some dumb idea like maybe "the sons of God" meant the descendants of Seth intermarried with Cain's evil descendants. That wouldn't have produced giants though. I'm ahead of him most everywhere I look so maybe I'm getting close to the break through. Maybe too I'm all wrong about September 2015 and we have many more years. A couple more months and we'll know.
There's much the Bible doesn't tell us, then people get upset with me for going outside of it to explain questions it doesn't answer but I can tie everything back to scripture. I could spend years and never find all the hidden meaning but maybe I'm getting close. I don't look at the notes in my Bible anymore. That guy doesn't understand how angels could have sex with women so He comes up with some dumb idea like maybe "the sons of God" meant the descendants of Seth intermarried with Cain's evil descendants. That wouldn't have produced giants though. I'm ahead of him most everywhere I look so maybe I'm getting close to the break through. Maybe too I'm all wrong about September 2015 and we have many more years. A couple more months and we'll know.
Why doesn't He have Jesus give a string of word of knowledge to someone already active in the gift of knowledge instead of frustrating me so badly looking for something I'm not sure what it is I'm looking for? Why doesn't He turn my word of knowledge and prophecy back on?
I'll keep on digging and digging.
In his service, a Misfit Child of God
In his service, a Misfit Child of God
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