8. BIZARRE EXPERIENCE CONCLUSION

     My second wife and I rushed into marriage and it was mainly based on physical attraction though we both thought we were christians.  I saw red flags going into it, mainly over kid issues and that's what broke us up.  With my background I don't do well with kids, especially someone elses's.  It took a major effort and struggle against ingrained tendencies from my upbringing to be a good father to my own.
     This woman had the exceptional beauty that makes a man feel short of breath and weak in the knees.  I was in exceptional shape at the time too and she said early on that she'd won first prize.  We made a nice looking couple and experienced wedded bliss as good as either of us had dreamed of, as long as the kids weren't around.
     We both had disorders from childhood and they clashed.  As I used to say, mine had horns and a tail while hers looked like flowers and butterflies.  Hers were insidious though and she raised problem people.  Kids who've been waited on all their lives and had parents who just wanted to make them happy all the time will grow up to be entitled and dependent, angry at the world for not treating them the way they are accustomed to.  This was clear in her grown oldest.  My fair but tough love, requiring responsibility and a certain level of performance produced happy, well adjusted superstars.
      After the way I'd been worked in childhood, any job I went to was fun, easy and good paying.  I taught my sons how to work, manage finances and learn and gave them some tough love when they weren't doing as they should have been.
     There was a blessing in all the conflict and tumult for me.  If not for my horrible behavior and repentance, I wouldn't have found God the way I did.
     After my baptism in the spirit, I stumbled into another dimension of reality.  Unexplainable supernatural phenomena from God was coming to me on an almost daily basis.  I'd been clean and sober for 12 years up to the marriage was reintroduced to now legal CO marijauana by my oldest stepson.  I couldn't avoid the temptation and got back into the bad habit of smoking pot, but wasn't drinking or using any psychoactive drugs during the experience, never have used hallucinogens so wasn't having flash backs.
     Much of what was happening was personal so one could say it was all in my head but much was also from outside sources that I couldn't have imagined.
     Early on I had the message from the Holy Spirit by way of my mountain mentor, "Let the word do the work."  In hindsight I think that meant I should have kept my mouth shut and let Jesus fight the battle I was coming into.

     Wow, is God ever leading me as I'm writng the blog, I just had 2 experiences this writing, found the passage from Ezekeiel leading to my thinking about losing salvation I edited in a previous posting and something He gave me just now.  He's been putting people in my life, the girl who saw a demon and the missionary from the singles site who gave me some information about the supernatural being dulled in our culture vs. third world cultures.  I'm going back to do some editing there.
     I'd been thinking about describing a prophetic reading from the Healing House prophets, and specifically describing a forecast about digging for treasure.  I'd recorded these as the prophets gave me information from Jesus via the Holy Spirit, but had tossed much in my move from CO.  I just looked in a box of old office stuff and found my notes, headed by the digging for treasure prediction. That'll come up soon in another posting.

     I'm recalling chronology as I go.  I just remembered there were 2 trips to GA, the month of November as directed by the Holy Spirit, then another in late winter after I'd been to the first Healing House reading where my trip was seen.  It was the second trip where I met Dr. Bree Keyton and saw God doing miraculous things through her.  It was also the second trip where I came across my brother's gifted mentor.
     He prayed for me mainly about forgiveness of my father, which did happen but issues have been brought up again by recent circumstances.  He also told me I'd be inventing some new technology.  I think he knew I'd been in high tech so wondered if this was legit from God or faked.  Some months later though I heard exactly the same thing from one of the grandma prophets at the Healing House and she knew nothing about me.
     Dr. Keyton gave me a personal message and I wasn't sure if she'd overheard my comment or not about getting divorced from a Jezebel Spirit.  I'm good at recalling conversations and I quote, "I see you've been under attack by a Jezebel Spirit.  Dig into your Bible," "But I have been," I interrupted.  With a bit of harshness to her tone which I interpreted as, "shut up and listen to me," she continued, "No, I mean really dig into your Bible, and expect a breakthrough on the order of Elijah."

Edit:  The day I wrote this I went to a revival and part of the message was about Jezebel and Elijah. What a coincidence.  The pastor said Jezebel is quickly increasing in power in our country, with legalized marijuana, legalized homosexual marriages and tolerance for about anything but christianity.  He says we all have a bit of the spirit of Elijah in us.  I think my bit is to write this blog.  That was another affirmation.  I'm getting an incredible number of coincidences in my life right now.

     Her book titled Jezebel vs. Elijah, with the description, "The spirits of Jezebel and Elijah live in our world today.  God's whirlwind of judgment is at the door, for it has reached the fullness of time"  teaches us that we are in end times and that in preparation for Jesus's return and the antichrist, these spirits will be surfacing in many people across the land.
     I had way too much fun with this in my blog, publicly likening our divorce to the biblical clash of Jezebel vs. Elijah.  Apparently spirits are named after their first appearance in the Bible and they stay intact in that form.  In addition to the Jezebel and Elijah spirit, according to Dr. Keyton, there's also an Ahab spirit and a Korah spirit, from the first rebellion of Korah against Moses.
     After reading the book, I noticed a somewhat frightening parallel to Dr. Keyton's description of Jezebel to my wife.  I could see direct similarities to everything but sloth as my wife was a go getter, rising at 4:30 to go to the gym, then running kids around and working a long day as a dept. head high school teacher.  We do live in a bizarre world with much going on in unseen dimensions.
     This woman worked hard at being attractive to men, from the unnaturally perfect, large, man made breasts, the sculpted body from good eating and daily workouts, and the revealing clothing that pushed the limits of propriety, especially for a high school teacher.  She usually wore a low cut blouse to highlight those assets and thin, slightly transparent dresses that would emphasize the curves.  There was a bit of a sinister expression that would come over her face as she would come to me for a passionate kiss, which she would sometimes do in inappropriate places.  Sure the physical part was incredible but I wasn't comfortable with the public displays of affection.  The young kids didn't seem to notice so I assumed this was what they'd grown up with.  I suggested privacy.
    Jezebel isn't limited to women.  Dr. Keyton says president Clinton had a Jezebel spirit.  As previously mentioned, Jezebel is comprised of 17 lesser spirits working in unison.  My wife had exceptional beauty but even in plain women her presence makes men short of breath and weak in the knees.  I just experienced that in church as a certain woman walked by me on her way out.  Yes, most men are attracted to that but I'd be leery of having another for a mate.  My Jezebel almost destroyed me.
     Toward the end of my experience after the third trip to jail for having a clip on the pocket type of pocket knife on me while going for a pre trial check up, they put an ankle monitor on me.  I had to be sure it stayed charged, avoid playing in the water with my jet skis or swimming, go in for random drug and alcohol tests I had to pay for, and was starting to despair.  I was feeling persecuted.
     There were no drugs or alcohol involved in the incident, it happened around 4;00a.m. and hadn't actually happened at all.  I wasn't there.  In my despondency, I added alcohol to the marijuana.  I'd hired a trial lawyer, a pit bull in a business suit as I described him and was looking forward to my day in court but because of his schedule, was going to have to wear this ankle monitor for 2 more months.
     The Healing House prophets would give clear specific information about the present, such as, "You're very confused, Jesus wants to calm you down," but would speak symbolically about the future.  While wearing the ankle monitor, one told me, "I see you in a boxing ring.  It looks like you're losing the fight, but God says it isn't over until He says it's over."
     I thought I was about to help my unjustly incarcerated buddy get a multi million dollar settlement and I was going to get rich too, getting a 15% cut for my efforts.  I tried hard to hire a civil rights attorney but couldn't get anyone to take the case, even the one who'd received a 10 million settlement from local government a few years earlier for his client.  His guy had served 10 years, mine 4 so I figured he'd be entitled to 4 million with a nice cut for me.  I advertised on craigslist, sent emails, visited a couple attorneys but eventually gave up, deciding I needed to focus on my own issues.  "It's hard to help others when you're in a hospital bed yourself," and being in the legal system without the rights of a normal citizen, I had to watch my step.
     About this time I also heard from Cindy Wilson, from blogspot radio, "Jesus has pulled all the teeth from the lion, you'll run across the river in joy and victory."
     Being a bit overconfident from these two prophets, in a state of drunken despair one night I cut off the ankle monitor.  They hadn't told me that I would automatically get 6 months in jail for each of my 2 charges, harrassment and the more serious domestic violence charge that in CO automatically comes with any harrassment charge in an intimate relationship.  To me this charge implied physical violence.  There'd been nothing resembling that, verbal abusiveness perhaps in my anger but nothing physical.  My attorney later explained that domestic violence could be defined as nothing more than hiding your wife's car keys.
     I'd been disagreeable to accepting the d.a.'s offer of probation maintaining my innocence but now had no choice but to accept it.  The option was 1 year in jail and then 1 year of probation.  There were to be 9 months of once a week domestic violence counseling classes, numerous doctor, psychiatrist and therapist appointments, all of which I was required to pay for.  My outrage grew.  I'd wanted to move to GA to the home I'd bought from my brother but had to put that plan on hold.  I hired a woman to give me some computer help with my blog and finished remodeling the home I was living in.
     I'd been cut off from my old friends from the gym I'd visited with my wife by the restraining order.  I was feeling very much alone and in deep despair.  I certainly hadn't behaved in a manner pleasing to God.  I'd forgiven my wife for the first trip to jail, then after she took the bicycle from my house, I was out for vengeance.  I was going to expose her in court for being a liar and figured the embarrassing personal issues would come out as well as I'd supplied the d.a. with volumes of information on our personal circumstances leading up to the incident.  Not a recommended thing to do as the information could have been used against me but I thought would help my case by showing her background material about the borderline sex addiction, pedophilia, lying, etc.
     Not only was I going to take down my soon to be ex wife, but I was going after the local legal system as well, going to bring them to justice too.  Somewhere in the following months I got the message that Jesus teaches us to obey civil authority, corrupt or not.  On the side I was way out of my league in spiritual warfare against satan and the anti christ.
     Barely knowing the woman helping me with the computer work and after hearing what I later learned were made up tales of an abusive, stingy, possibly homosexual husband, I began an adulterous relationship with the Sad Lady.  I later learned I was involved with a gifted christian woman but that she was another compulsive liar, just not as skilled as my wife had been at hiding it.  The truth it turned out was that the husband was a poor man, I knew that, but not abusive and had developed erectile dysfunction.
     Somewhere along here, I think God decided I needed some discipline and he pulled his protection from me and I came under serious spiritual attack.  Heb 12: 5-6 "My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son."  Looking at it that way I guess God loves me a lot because I got a good spanking.
     Not confident that I had enough to retire on I went out for another score or 2.  I bought a 4 lot mountain top site ovelooking a lake and above a house I'd previously built.  I'd been looking at the land for a while and had asked for a vision one time and had seen the view from this site.
     One of the Healing House prophets had told me, "I see you at the base of a mountain on a big machine, digging and digging."  Cool I thought, I have a big backhoe, that must be what she sees.
"I see you looking at plans," of course, building plans.  "You keep on digging and see a glint of treasure. You dig some more and strike treasure.  I see you sitting there with all the treasure around you."   I knew I wasn't going to hit a gold vein digging, that this treasure would be my connection with God, but I thought I ought to pursue construction here.  It was a mountain top but there was a bigger mountain next to it so I stretched my finances a bit and went after it.
     Right before I bought it, I had a panic attack and a spirit of fear came on me.  Was I doing the right thing here, I wondered.  I wasn't comfortable with the money situation.  I had been used to having a big surplus of cash but most of that went away in my divorce from a woman who refused to work.  As she'd put it, I made enough money for both of us and I didn't meet her social needs so satisfying those became her full time occupation.  In fairness though, she'd put up with much more from me over the years with my drinking, verbal abusiveness and other behavior I'm ashamed to mention.
     I started thinking of everything that could go wrong.  It'd be a few months before I could get the well drilled and I'd have a lot of money spent by that time, running in power was going to be tough.  I started fearing I'd spend 15 to 20 K drilling and hit a dry hole.  Then I'd have to make water out of thin air.  2 prophets had told me I'd be inventing a new technology.  I figured out a way to do this but making enough to supply a house would take a cost prohibitive prototype system.
     Here's how to make water out of thin air:  Everyone with a compressor knows you have to drain the water out occasionally, compressed air causes the moisture in air to precipitate out.  Also moisture condenses on a cold surface as in a glass of ice water.  Build a large tank around a manifold of refrigerated coils, pressurize it, let condensation form on the coils, melt it off and collect the water, release the dry air and recycle.  There you have it.  Water out of thin air, so simple it's probably being done, if not maybe that's the technology the prophets were referring to.  I was hoping God would give me some elaborate schematics in a dream for something I could make some money off of, maybe figure out perpetual motion with magnets.  This system probably wouldn't work with the cold dry air of CO winters and would take away all my earnings.
     Then I hit hard rock that would need a jack hammer attachment to my backhoe or blasting.  I gave up and bailed on the land at a large loss for a quick sale.  I tried to start an excavating business but after catching up on some expensive maintenance then having a costly breakdown, spent more on equipment than I made for the year.  I sold the equipment cheap.
     After it was gone, the phone started ringing for some good jobs.  The oil boom happened though and it would cost me almost double what I'd sold for to replace the equipment.  A couple years later looking back, the land had tripled in value so I'd have had a huge profit just holding on to it.
     I became catatonic and crawled into a hole.  I was terrified of working for hire, I'd never done that.  Except for mechanical, I could do everything needed for home construction and do it well, being something of a perfectionist, but was I fast enough to be competitive?  The thought of going into people's houses for remodeling work terrified me too.  What was I going to do?
     I went into a state of deep despair which lasted for 2 1/2 years.  Early on I spent much time on my couch or in bed crying out to God for an answer or some direction but He wasn't communicating with me anymore.  I had fumbled about 70K which wasn't that large a percentage of my asset base but was fearing I'd never be able to retire.  I'd built up over a million in assets at the time of my divorce from my first wife, with little help from her, could have been comfortably retired at 50 if not for the divorce but here I was trying to figure out how to start over.
     I found work as a helper for a verbally abusive small contractor.  He was nowhere near the craftsman I was but I couldn't tell him anything or do anything right for him.  I followed him around, handing him tools and cleaning up after him, watching him botch one job after the next.  What a mess I'd made of my life.  Just a few years earlier I'd been called a master builder, was making over 150K per year and now was working part time for $15.00 per hour trying not to live off my savings.
     I studied for and obtained my real estate license.  That had been profitable for me years earlier in conjunction with my speculative remodel projects, but now in my emotional state, didn't feel competent and didn't have the personality to market myself.  Taking all the work the contractor offered me, I cleared 10K in a year, enough with rental income from 2 houses to break even and stay out of my savings.
     I finally got to the point where I felt that little bit of income wasn't worth the abuse so quit and started looking for my own work, having gained a little confidence back.  My efforts had improved his business, I'd been asking for a limited partnership, offering to take on projects I'd be skilled at that he was passing on because of his inability or lack of skill in.  He seemed to feel that if I made anything by way of his contacts, it would be taking away from him so he just lost some deals we both could have profited from.
     The woman in my life, the Sad Lady made my life miserable as she had numerous mental issues from her molestation during childhood.  I supported her and her daughter though was alone most of the time because of her co dependent relationship with her child.  She would have frequent episodes and rage at me over imagined transgressions, usually related to jealousy, then feel it ok to post herself on craigslist looking for something better.  I saw in her the same spirit of jealousy I'd seen in my father.  We couldn't be friends with other couples, the wives were after me, I couldn't have male friends either because she wanted me there for her any time she was available while the girl was staying with her dad.  She and I had our co dependent relationship, a distinct second to her relationship with her daughter, and I let this go on, not wanting to be alone and not feeling I had much to offer any woman worth having.
     My previous life had been great in comparison, not a good relationship with my wife, but we had many friends, usually hosted get togethers every weekend.  I'd had every toy a man could want, winter trips somewhere warm were going to be a part of our lives and I was going to take a week every summer for a big bicycle event in CO called Ride the Rockies.  There were several weeks at the lake in the summer with the water toys and friends, snowmobile outings in the winter and camping trips with the dirt bikes.  High dollar side work dropped in my lap with my heavy equipment.  Life was good except for my relationship with my wife.  She'd retired early when the kids started driving and set out to fulfill her social needs while I kept building houses.  I had developed serious ongoing resentments about this.  From my pit though I looked back at this and hated myself for the mess I'd made of things, wishing I'd tried to be a better husband and leader to my wife.
     I couldn't see an end to it and began earnestly praying for death with nothingness.  No heaven, but please God, no hell, just let me be dead and gone with nothing.  I thought often about suicide, figured I'd do it with a running car in the garage, a nice peaceful death as my acquaintance in the mountains had done, but the fear of eternal damnation kept me from this.
     I was in a pit and in hindsight know that God doesn't put us in a pit, He turns us over to satan who puts us in a pit but it's splitting hairs I say to God, I was still in a pit.  God can use evil for His purposes and satan doesn't know what the outcome will be, as with Jesus on the cross.  Satan thought he'd won but he made a huge mistake by crucifying Jesus.
     I'd seen the housing bust of '08 coming and moved to the sidelines emerging relatively unscathed while many friends including my builder brother in GA were seriously hurt.  I'd bought the mini farm from him at a bargain, a cute 4 bedroom house with outbuildings, 2 acres on a creek, blueberry bushes and fruit trees he'd planted, a perfect end times property.  Probation kept me in CO though and when it ended, my companion wouldn't be able to join me with shared kids in CO so I stayed on, miserable as the relationship was.
     Towards the end of my trial, I'd started reading self help books and watching programs about changing one's life.  I read Norman Vincent Peale's book, the Power of Positive Thinking.  He suggested quoting positive scripture on a daily basis and made the challenge, just try it even if you don't believe anything will happen.  I thought, "I've got nothing to lose, may as well."  My verses were, "If God is for us, who can be against us, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me," and from Isaiah, "Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength, they will mount up on wings and soar like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."  I added my own, not a verse but came up with, "Jesus wants us to live life and live it abundantly."  I repeated these 3 times and did it 3 times daily.
     It worked.  Within a week I received a real estate listing from some people I'd done a little remodel work for.  I tossed in some free work for them but ended up clearing 5K on the deal, pretty good compared to the 10K I'd cleared for all the previous year.  Through some volunteer work at church I met a supervisor for a high end remodeling contractor and moved right up to $35 per hour doing a variety of jobs for him, tile, drywall and paint.  A wealthy young socialite was pleased with my craftsmanship on a variety of punchlist jobs leftover from her 150K remodel job and praised me to a high end specialty supplier.  I suddenly developed a reputation as a high end tile guy and received all the tile work I wanted.  I'd never particularly liked tile work, it was one of many things I do.  My youngest got me a job building some fancy cabinet displays for a showroom he worked for.  It was a drive but paid 3K for 6 days work installing 70K in cabinetry.  I was an appreciated master craftsman again.  My life was turning around.
     Still though, I didn't like working for hire, would prefer to own my own projects.  I'd chased the oil boom up in CO not buying anything just missing a few deals and values got so high, I wasn't comfortable investing.  I heard at a church Thanksgiving dinner in the fall of 2014 that oil was plummeting and at a certain price point drilling would stop.  Being aware of the cyclical nature of real estate, I knew it was time to cash out of CO.
     The year prior to going into the pit I'd made a 70K profit on the house I'd built.  For years I'd felt blessed by holding onto Mal 3:10 "Bring the full tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house.  Test me in this says the Lord God," (the only place in the Bible we're told to test God).  "See if I will not open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much bounty you won't have room to contain it."
     Being paranoid about my finances while in the pit, it was very painful for me to make this tithe but I did.  In the following couple of years while barely staying out of my savings, I was faithful in my tithing and God kept His end of the deal.  He gave me huge profits to take to GA to set up a pension off rental property.  I didn't want the Sad Lady to come with me, figuring she'd pull me back into the hole every time I tried to crawl out as she'd done in CO but would have let her had she figured out logistics with the kids.  The relationship needed to end though and it did.  I gave her some money to help her on her way and made my move.
     A few weeks after she was out of my life I heard from God again with word of knowledge from the connected lady at Wiley Church of God.  I was thrilled that God was back in my life.  I know He'd been there all the time, I was the one who'd messed up the relationship but it felt like He'd abandoned me.  This brings me up to present, I've come back to finish this posting, the last I wrote was #23.  I've kicked out the old addictions to alcohol and marijuana a few months ago and just about have the cigarettes gone too.  I've been in some turmoil lately wondering what "Treasure" I'm supposed to be looking for or breakthrough I'm supposed to get by "digging into my Bible."  I think it's coming soon along with the other personal treasure I've been yearning for but you'll have to read ahead to figure that out.