29. HE'S ASKING FOR A HARLOT

     I've been wondering, "Is this really happening, am I delusional, going insane maybe?"  I think my sons think so, same as the last time 3 plus years ago when I was having numerous supernatural experiences with God and had a blog.  However, I just got another message which was encouraging in a couple ways.  My prayers are being heard and maybe I'm not imagining what seems to be happening in my life.  If I'm getting messages from others, it's not all in my head and my go between just gave me another message from Jesus.
     She's a kind, God loving older lady and we've become good friends.  She's asked me to come in and share my opinions about God with her a couple Sundays when she's at work.  She was the first and biggest fan of my writing before I started the blog.  This began with the first 9 postings, "the bizarre experience and The Sad Lady, (Chris)."  I thought about writing a book but didn't feel I had enough material for one.  I might have doubled what I had there by adding more detail, but still not enough for a book, maybe a short story.
     Someone I do a lot of business with has been getting messages from God since she was a child she tells me. She said she'll never leave her home because she's buried behind it.  I said, "You mean you're going to be buried behind it?"  "No, I already am, from a past life or something."  "Whoa, we christians don't have past lives," I told her.  She couldn't explain it clearly.  I'm wondering what spirit she's listening to but I believe she's hearing from God though can't explain the burial thing.  She's in her late 60's, says she's always felt she lived through end times and I believe she's right about that.
    I have ongoing business with her so we've spent a good deal of time together.  God has put me back into business rather abruptly and the land was from a recent auction.  We went up to a field location today and were chatting in her office before we left.  She said she had a message for me and I always perk up when I hear that.  She said she hoped I wouldn't be offended by it and I told her not to worry about that but to please continue.
     The message was, "Be careful what you ask for."  "What?" I asked and she repeated, "Be careful what you ask for, that's the message."  The only thing I'm asking for is a woman.  God's had me blocked from them for a while.  I'm quite certain I want a wife.  I didn't get married to the last woman in my life because there were issues I couldn't live with and she wouldn't admit to them or get help.  I knew the relationship was displeasing to God, hoping He looks at mitigating circumstances so I was going to try real hard to do the next one His way.
     "He's asking for a harlot," she was told.  "No I'm not, certainly not specifically anyway," I told her. "Well  with my own history of getting into and out of several relationships with co dependent women, I ought to be forgiving and understanding of her history, I'll need her to do that with me."  "God can clean you up and make you righteous," she told me.  " Yes, but He can do that for her too, can't He?"
     Let's analyze this a bit.  You know she wouldn't make up something like that.  Jesus gave her that message.  Just getting such a message from a friend by word of knowledge was very encouraging to me.  Maybe I don't have to go through the tribulation alone. Hopefully, as soon as I turn this over to God, He's going to answer my fleece and some lady I may have never seen before is going to ask me a bit of a peculiar question, the question is on the back of a business card in my wallet.  I hope to be sharing it with you soon.
     Hearing that question will accomplish a couple things for me, first, I'll know I have God's choice for my life partner and second, it will confirm this assignment God seems to be giving me that I'm a bit incredulous about.
    Way back there somewhere I wrote that God seems to get a kick out of doing big things with messed up people.  I deleted something of an attempt at self deprecating humor writing that if his thinking is linear, the more messed up the bigger the accomplishment, then He may be flowing some miracles off my finger tips.  As yet I have no obvious gifts but an incredible healing anointing has been foretold for me.
     I have incredible compassion for the suffering.  Yesterday at Starbucks a young girl with serious congenital defects was waiting for her coffee.  I said something pleasant to her and chatted a bit, then turned away and had to stifle sobs in my compassion for her.  She tried to hide her defects but they were too obvious.  I won't mention them because she could become a reader.  Yes God I'd like miraculous powers and healing, not for my glory but for yours so I could change lives like hers.  I'd like to be able to put my hands on someone in a wheelchair and say, "In the name of Jesus, walk." and see them get up and walk out of their chair or grow hands or legs as Dr. Keyton has done in third world countries.
     I think we're just months away from all hell (I mean that literally) breaking out around the world and God is pouring out His spirit out on all people although I just know about my part and my friend from the mountains of CO.  Expect to be seeing much more supernatural from God starting about now.
     Don't be counting on pre tribulation rapture my friends, it's a concept that's only been around 250 years or so but has been latched on to by many churches.  I think we go all the way through and may get seriously tested, perhaps having to choose between beheadings or taking the mark of the beast.   Many will be beheaded but maybe they come to Christ during the trubulation still leaving the possibility that previous believers get pulled out of it.  A friend of mine told me the Elijahs go all the way through.  I don't know how he knew that.  Actually, a beheading should be a quick and painless death, gruesome to think about and look at though.
     To back up my thinking, REV 6:9-11 "When he opened the fifth seal, I saw the souls of those who had been slain for the word of God and the testimony they had maintained...they were told to wait a little longer until the full number of their fellow servants, their brothers and sisters, were killed just as they had been."  REV 20:4-5 "And I saw the souls of those who had been beheaded because of their testimony about Jesus and the word of God.  They had not worshiped the beast or its image or taken the mark on their foreheads or their hands.  They came to life and reigned with christ a thousand years.  (The rest of the dead did not come to life until the thousand years had ended.)  This is the first resurrection."
     Ok God, let's get this clear, I'm not specifically asking for a harlot.  I don't feel I'm deserving of a chaste, pure woman but if that's what you'd like to give me, I'd prefer that.  Maybe I'd better clarify my list of what I want.  Some things will stay in my mind, between you and me, but here's the list I gave my connected lady friend who gave me my first message.  She told me to make a list so here it is:
1. Comparably attractive.  I keep myself fit, would like a woman who keeps herself in shape too, not necessarily muscular though but slender with the appropriate curves and bumps.  I've observed an unspoken rule of the human condition, even in the pastor who preaches about looking at inner beauty, that we tend to pair up with similarly attractive mates.  His wife was better looking than he.
     I'm not averse to gorgeous, not specifically seeking it though.  If she is gorgeous, I'd like her to keep most of that gorgeousness for my eyes only unlike many women, even in church, who highlight their finer points for admiration from men.  Don't women know what they're doing to men? Sometimes even in church leadership I see these voluptuous women wearing snug fitting blouses and tight skirts or pants which highlight their fine assets.  This makes it difficult for us men not to stumble in our thought lives.  Are these women guilty of the mental adultery they lead many men into with their dress, which Jesus warns us about when we lust?  There is a dark angel name Exhibitionism.
     I understand though, in keeping with Jesus's instructions to use rigorous honesty from my counseling with him a few days ago, I see some of this in myself.  It once worked for attracting women.  I'll wear tank tops and shorts to try to be comfortable for outside work in this hot, humid weather where I live now, and I'll admit to some pride in my physique.  A couple weeks ago at that same aforementioned Starbucks it didn't hurt my feelings at all when, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a sexy young woman in a short black dress giving me a good once over.  My second wife was a gorgeous woman with a Jezebel spirit who thrived on teasing men, I don't want to be married to another like her, but yes God, I'm ok with gorgeous.
     To sidetrack from my list, Dr. Keyton says many times, demons will set up behaviors in their victims and the victims will run with that behavior without a demon present, while the demons moves on to other assignments.  They'll return only if the person makes an effort to change through prayer.  It may take the victim a consistent effort over a period of time to make a change before the demon(s) give up and move on..  The scripture that supports this is James 4:7 "Submit yourselves then, to God.  Resist the devil and he will flee from you."  Again though it may take effort over some time for this to happen.
2. Compatible, we all have our quirks and issues, demons if you will, she and I would need to mesh.  This is a broad general heading for me.  I was once passionate about boating and wake boarding, then tore up what had been my good knee with a bad landing, and became passionate about long distance bicycling.  At present I have no passions, would be happy to try her interests, but not the feminine arts such as crochet, knitting, quilting, needlepoint, etc.
     If she doesn't have a career and can't contribute financially, I'd love a woman to join me on the job site for clean up and light work.  Once in a while I come across a lucky man who has such a mate.  I'm tidy and don't need a housekeeper, would be willing to help in the kitchen.  It'd be great if she'd join me with gardening and canning food and having her would motivate me in these areas.  That may become very important in the near future.
3. Willing or able to contribute financially or in other ways.  I don't want another woman who feels she makes all her necessary contributions in the bedroom and is free to go play while I do all the work and support her.  I'll soon be able to support myself without working, I've set one non working woman up for life and have had a couple others in my life with this attitude.  For the right woman I might be willing to keep working if she has no income or pension, but would expect her to be my helper, this ties in with compatibility.
     Not on my list but I'll toss in, I once knew a wonderful couple with a 20 year age difference. They'd raised 30 foster kids and filled two rows at church on Christmas service when all the kids came home.  He'd been about my current age and she about mid 30s when they married.  Now, though, she's still a vigorous woman able to do strenuous hikes in the mountains while he's hobbling around with a cane.  I don't want to be that old man with a vigorous wife so on my own, was looking for a woman my age.  With the short time we have left, I don't think that's so important so I'd be ok with a 20 year age difference.  I don't want a child wife though, I think some compatibility is attained by having had similar life experiences .
     Some other thoughts I'm going to keep in my head just between God and me as they're inappropriate for mixed company.  Just to make it clear though God, I'm not asking for a harlot.  I canceled my dating site profile and craigslist ad again so it's all in your hands.  I'm hopeful I'll be meeting my last wife in the next couple of weeks.   I'll keep my readers posted.
   
     A brief unrelated observation.  We're told Jesus would have spoken Aramaic but in many  messages given me and others, he seems to be stuck in the King James translation.  Harlot is an archaic word from middle english.  My lady mentor from years ago I refer to as Lady Barnabas said God wanted her to write a scroll.  This is a little embarrassing but in a prophetic reading, with 3 people with the gift of prophecy, I was once told Jesus was going to take my filthy robes and dress me in clean white ones.  Not related to the language but also quite embarrassing as the meaning was obvious to those present was a message that Jesus was going to take all the broken pieces of my soul and make a beautiful mosaic.
     If you haven't picked up on soul ties from previous postings, the meaning is that since a piece of our soul breaks off and is shared with each of our sex partners, all in that session knew I'd had quite a number of partners, I couldn't list them all, for the breaking of soul ties, I'd guess 25 - 30.  Jesus told me to be rigorously honest in our counseling session a few days ago.  Is that what you're looking for Jesus?  We might hide our sin from the world but not from God.
     The role modeling I'd grown up with was that a man should sleep around every chance he had, then beat his wife if another man flirted with her, a spirit named Jealousy causes this behavior.  As a young man, I was after numbers, not relationships, with the perverse thinking that whoever got the most numbers won the game.
     I've mentioned that I see 2 levels of christianity in this country, mainstream where the power of God is never seen, 98% of the message is correct but the 2% error satan has brought in leads most astray, and this deeper level with a language all its own.  Much is taught by Jesus to those with gifts.  I'd never heard of soul ties or demon transfer during sex until stumbling into this other level but it's common knowledge here.
     One thing to look forward to with the beheadings to come from Revelation 20:4 - 5, the only place in the Bible the thousand year reign of Christ is mentioned, is the time with Christ we'll have.

Edit:  After a couple hours away mulling this over I think I figured out what God did here.  At present I have a trickle of readers, a hand full to a dozen a day, but if things keep progressing as I'm suspecting they will, it could explode.
     I was questioning God's intelligence with that, "He's asking for a harlot" business but God knows good and well I don't want a harlot.  It delighted and encouraged me to get another personal message from Him though and I think He wanted me to put some messages in that posting.  It also motivates me to keep working on this breakthrough I've been promised, keep moving dirt and rock.  Further, it motivates me to give Him a little bit more time for sending me the woman of His choice, maybe 2 or 3 more days, all in His timing, and not to do something He wouldn't approve of.  A couple of those women at the flea market seemed to like me this morning.  I wouldn't want to marry them but if I were rigorously honest about that...
     He knows just who will be perfect for me.  A couple more items I need in a perfect woman that I'm sure God knows, but I'll spell it out just in case.  She needs to be intelligent enough for me to communicate with without getting exasperated.  That's been a problem for me.  Bad grammar in a mate annoys me too, but God knows this.

Edit:  - By the way, I edit these postings all the time without doing what I'm doing here so if you find something interesting, you might check back later.  When I do it this way, with a space above and below the body and the word "edit", I'm making the point that this is something after the original writing and I want it known as such.
     In keeping with rigorous honesty per Jesus from my counseling session with him, another criteria I'd like in a lady is one who doesn't smoke and will motivate me to finish giving up this habit vs. buying one or 2 a day from strangers as I've been doing.

     I'm sure He's got her tucked away somewhere and has been preparing her for me as He's been preparing me for her.  I need to relax, don't need to try to put myself in busy places so she can find me and help God, He'll bring us together when and where He wants to when we least expect it.
     As I mentioned, Jesus told me in my counseling session with him this week to use rigorous honesty.  Ok but I'm not going to share this with friends any more, you've got to get it out from here, Jesus.
     Physical abusiveness was never a problem for me but as I shared earlier somewhere, the role modeling I received from my father was that a man should sleep around every chance he got, then come home and beat his wife if another man had flirted with her.  At some point I have to take responsibility for my behavior and stop blaming my father, which I did many years ago on most issues.  I'm still cleaning up some wounds though, many never get them healed.
     I saw identical behavior to my father's in my last companion, the Sad Lady who'd rage at me for imagined transgressions often jealousy related, then occasionally post herself in craigslist personals looking for someone better.  It's caused by the spirit named Jealousy.  Fortunately I outweighed her by 80 pounds so she never beat me up but she'd have liked to a few times.  Don't try to tell me you can't have the Holy Spirit and a demon.


In His service, a Misfit Child of God