7. OUR CORRUPT LEGAL SYSTEM, BEHAVING BADLY

     Taking on the anti Christ in my blog came a couple mos. after my first trip to jail. It wasn’t my first experience with jail. 14 years prior for my second DUI, (that CO knew about) I’d been sentenced to a week in jail which I was allowed to serve over 3 weekends. I wasn’t happy about it but felt it just and thought the treatment I received was fair.
    I’d been attending AA when that experience happened and it was the kick in the butt I needed to get serious with the program and I sobered up for the second half of my sons’ childhood and kicked smoking 2 years later.
   I was shocked at the treatment during the current stay, the grueling 6 to 14 hour intake process, sitting in a hard plastic chair in between various intake functions, the bullying nature of some of the guards and the nasty, verbally abusive judge. This didn’t seem like treatment with the assumption of innocence until proven guilty.
   I was outraged because I wasn’t at her house at all, the entire incident was a bad dream from a woman with a guilty conscious, avoiding what I've come to admit was verbally abusive behavior on my part, though at the time I felt completely innocent,  and the police report was totally distorted, full of misstatements and lies. This terrified woman was a well hidden compulsive liar. It was a mutli generation disorder, curse or family spirit depending on your perspective, (secular or spiritual). She’d once told me she could no more stop her lying than I could turn off my obsessive episodes.
         This was a glamorous, gorgeous successful woman in a public position. I think many of us carry open wounds from childhood or life experiences we try to keep hidden from the world. Much as Alcoholics Anonymous is a spiritual program for the recovery of alcoholism, I think many of these wounds will only be healed by spiritual help, not drugs. Drugs may mask some symptoms but won’t heal the initial wound and may cause some problems of their own.
     While in jail I read in the Bible Roman’s 12:19 “Do not take revenge my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay.” Says the Lord.” I left jail with forgiveness but something that looked like theft to me on my wife's part had happened while I was locked up.
     She'd trudged uphill 1/3 mile through knee deep snow to take a $1,500 bicycle I'd bought her, the ownership of which we were disputing.  My reasoning was that since all her "promises" had become conditional on any change in circumstances, I should also be able to indulge in this conditional thinking and keep the bicycle which had been a gift.  I didn’t forgive her taking the bike and went into attack mode on the blog, still anonymous at that time though and wrote stories about my jail experience, detailed misstatements in the police report, the nasty judge, and my perception of civil rights violations.
    I was feeling wronged by an individual as well as the system. I certainly wasn’t manifesting the peace that’s supposed to come from knowing Jesus and being forgiving. In hindsight I clearly see that’s what I should have been doing and that’s what the instructions prior to this from my mountain mentor, “Let the Word do the work,” meant.
     I contacted an attorney and mentioned something about civil rights violations. He told me that infractions are so common now you won’t get anywhere with legal action. I heard many stories from others of mis treatment.
    In a bit of smugness or perhaps arrogance, wanting my wife to see I was writing on line about our circumstances which could become very embarrassing to her without anonymity, I sent an email right before going to GA, telling her to get her answer to something off my blog.  That was the trip where I stumbled across Dr. Bree Keyton, the trip the Healing House grandma prophet had seen. I hadn't been clear on the email contact being a violation of the restraining order and was contacted by an officer who told me to report to jail when I returned.
   It was during this trip I wrote the previously described stories on Catholicism and began a rather deluded series of postings about the modern day Jezebel vs. Elijah fight.
     Before going back to jail I wrote several postings about our legal system, demanded to be treated with the presumption of innocence, etc.  I probably shouldn’t have written that I was going to take down that arrogant, abusive judge. That did increase my readership by a few members of the FBI though. I was delighted as I was going to give them proof of injustices being done, expecting them to swoop in and take over local law enforcement.
     My second trip, I’d thought would be a quick in and out turned into 18 days. I certainly wasn’t stoned in jail, but was outraged and manic.
    The jail psychiatrist made some mis statement in a report about my behavior being erratic when off my meds. I was asking for my meds though which weren’t provided. The forced cut off caused serious dizziness and headaches. I later learned that these very meds tended to cause mania.
    It was this trip where I met a guy who’d been in 4 years who, like me, hadn’t been there for the original accusation. Apparently he’d fought back a bit too hard. I saw the police report of the lady officer communicating with a peer, asking him to let her know if he appeared to be coming up with 750K bail as she might be able to find some more charges. I think that’s illegal.
     In another report I saw, an officer admits to “skip kicking him a couple times trying to elicit a response.” He didn’t mention though another report did, that they’d just tazed him 27 times. He was comatose and they were skip kicking him. They’d thought he had a gun but he hadn’t.
     He had court documents proving violation of right to speedy trial and other civil rights infractions. A few years prior our jail, county and police system were fined 10 million in the case of a man named Ted Masters who’d served 10 years for a murder he hadn’t committed. His civil rights had been thoroughly violated as had my friend's.
     I met another man who’d been brutalized by the canine unit of another local police department. He’d once sold drugs but had been clean. He was still being followed by undercover officers and started taking pictures of them. They didn’t like that and arrested him on some made up charge.
During the grueling intake, he was asked if he’d like to participate in a canine training exercise. He thought this might give him a break so he agreed. I saw the puncture wounds. They’d let the dog chew him up pretty badly before calling it off.
     I had some money at the time and offered to help both these guys. I was going to get a civil rights attorney and bring local government to justice again. Of course I was to get 15% of any settlements for my efforts so thought I was about to be a rich man.
    I was writing up agreements with these guys and getting documents from them. When an attempt was made to institutionalize me, I figured big brother knew what I was up to via the constant camera monitoring and was going to lock me up and throw away the key.
   Then there was the falsified report from the jail shrink who was in contact with my wife, something of a peer of hers with input from a local liberal therapist who had seen both of us. I'd visited this therapist and she didn't think that what I saw as borderline pedophilia, causing a late stage oedipal complex in a 14 year old boy, was unusual.  She admitted to being naked with her 40 year old son when he'd come for visits and thought this fine too.
     I didn’t know where it was coming from but they seemed inclined to keep me locked up a long time. I was in a state of fear, certainly not peace.
     I still don’t know if anything was going on behind the scenes or not but the intake woman from the institute and I connected. She was a Christian and didn’t consider me crazy because of having heard from God. I felt God had placed her in my path.
     In my 18 day stay, I ate everything they fed me but lost 8 pounds. I had a bit of a street ministry going at the time and heard from one young man who’d had a 2 or 3 month stay that he’d lost 30 pounds.
     I went on a campaign against local law enforcement suggesting satan was taking over our legal system. Maybe he is but I’m sure I looked like an insanely deluded fool to most of my readers.
The blog was getting several hundred hits a day. There I was in a weakened spiritual state taking on satan with one hand and the local government with the other. I submitted a suggested settlement to the county commissioners for the man in for 4 years, and sent them emails like, “Who’s responsible for starving the inmates? Someone has to have approved of this. Surely it can’t be legal. Someone should do time.”
    I was living in fear and paranoia. I published that if anything happened to me I blamed my wife and the local legal system. I’d had to clean my house of guns but put weapons like hammers and other tools at strategic points in my house. I thought I’d had a break in. I was a mess.
     I shouldn’t have written that I always carried a knife. I had a large folding knife I used daily with construction work, but I claimed it as a weapon. I carried it all the time and without thinking took it to a pre trial check up as I mentioned in a previous posting.
     On the way out I was told I shouldn’t have it on me. I apologized and said I wouldn’t bring it back. At my next court date to set up the trial time, they locked me up for another week because of the knife. I was getting a substantial build up of bond money as I’d have to post more for each of these incidences.
     I kept visiting the Healing House prophets and called an acquaintance of my helper who’d seen the demon. She had a prophetic radio blog and was one of the prophets who told me "Jesus has pulled all the teeth from the lion, you'll run across the river in joy and victory." I took this to mean I'd be taking down the local legal system and getting a huge settlement.  That might have happened but I read too much into their messages and did a foolish thing.  It was then that I cut off the ankle monitor and they had me.
     I'd wanted my day in court, had paid the lawyer's fee, was going to expose all the lies of my wife and get cleared of this mess, but since I cut off the monitor, I could either take a year's probation or go to jail for a year, then take a year's probation,  I thought it might be wise to take probation at this point.
     A note about our govenment.  As most people know, the constitution is all but gone.  Under the guise of counter terrorism, our government can do about anything they want to anyone. The conspiracy theory folks seem to be gaining mainstream acceptance.  In the last few days prior to this editing, I've heard from 3 new acquaintances that some sort of dollar devaluation or major economic upheaval is in the works for next fall.  There's the jade Helm 15 exercise planned for 3 western states which looks suspiciously like training for martial law.  It might be a good time to move assets out of dollars but do your own research and pray about this.

6. ADDICTIONS AND PROPHESY, REBUKING DEMONS

Note to reader:  My chronology doesn't flow very well and at this editing, the experience is 3 1/2 years old.  The exact sequence of events is a bit unclear thinking back.  If this should get published, I'll clean it up but right now I want to get it online and do some stand alone stories.  I haven't clearly heard from God for over 3 years and previously described why, though I felt he blessed my faithful tithing through some dark times.  Here's a chronology of events over this approximate 9 month period: 

I experienced the baptism of the spirit in late summer.  I've read that many pastors haven't had this experience but probably need it to be well qualified to teach about God.

I received the message, "Let the word do the work" from my mentor before the legal mess happened.

The first trip to jail happened in October because of the bad dream.

I made the trip to GA in November, came across Dr. Bree Keyton then and a connected mentor of my brother who prophesied some interesting things about my future, later duplicated by a Healing House prophet, something about my involvement in a new technology.  I haven't a clue what that might be about but do have a background in high tech, have been away from it for 20 years though.

The second trip to jail happened immediately after my return to CO, lasted 18 days and was triggered by an unauthorized email while on restraining order.  I didn't know the email contact was forbidden.  I read through the Bible twice during that stay.

The divorce was filed around Christmas.

I came across my lady mentor after that.

My first trip to the Healing House came on the advice of my lady mentor.

The third trip to jail happened in late winter or early spring because of carrying a pocket knife into a pre trial hearing.

The fourth trip to jail happened in late spring or early summer because of cutting off an ankle monitor in a state of drunken despair. (I'd been told "Jesus has pulled all the teeth from the lion, you'll run across the river with joy and victory" ) and I heard something almost identical from two different sources, neither of whom had any knowledge of my circumstances.  I guess I tested God here, only one place in the Bible where we're supposed to do that, Malachi 3:10: "...Bring the full tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. TEST ME IN THIS," says the Lord Almighty.     "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there

will not be room enough to store it."  Having trouble with your finances?  Try tithing.

Encounters with people and fun "god things" were happening throughout.

 For instance right after I'd written in my blog I thought the holy spirit served an analogous function to a communications micro processor, I read in the Bible that, "He doesn't speak on His own but repeats what he hears."  Right before going to a pre trial meeting where I was unexpectedly locked up for carrying a pocket knife to the hearing I'd read one of Paul's descriptions of "proclaiming the gospel in chains."  I didn't have a clue why they might but went to that hearing half expecting to get locked up again and was.  Before the judge when he said my writing was making a lot of people uncomfortable, I told him and the court officials, "I proclaim that Jesus Christ is the living son of God and that makes some people nervous,"  I had on hand cuffs and leg shackles as I did this.  I was writing extensively throughout this and sometimes my fingers would do things I hadn't intended, I perfectly italicized a sentence that needed emphasis in an email and I don't know how to do that, I wrote, "the next pope may be the anti christ" meaning to say, "I wouldn't be surprised if the next pope becomes the anti christ.  That may have been from satan, time will tell.

Abnormal little things like this were happening almost on a daily basis.  I wrote all about it as it was happening but some incompetent computer help, the model for The Sad Lady posting, deleted the novel length blog. 

     Though He hasn't spoken to me directly, I'm having God encounters again and I think the purpose I've been praying for is to share my experiences and some ideas, per the message from the connected woman at church I previously described.  The woman had no idea that much of the last 3 years I've been going through a serious trial and begging God for death with nothingness vs. hell or some purpose in life.  That's not how we're supposed to treat trials.  I need a lot of growth still.

     After hearing the young woman's account of the demon through the gift of discerning the spirits, life is getting exciting again.  The Holy Spirit is allowed to act at the Wiley, GA Church of God and probably in some small church near you.  There must be a reason God is putting this stuff in my life.  I'd previously made 50 some years without any such experiences and now they're coming to me again.  

     God didn't tell me but I think we're in end times and going to be seeing some tumultuous events in the near future,  I know God wants to give as many people as possible the chance to come to Him.  I think I'm a smart man, I have dug into my Bible and I see so much error in the messages of many pastors, even big famous ones, that I want to share the truth as I see it.  I can usually stump a pastor in about 2 minutes though I'm seeking truth not trying to play games.    

     Throughout my bizarre experience, I was smoking marijuana and on a high dosage of Lexapro for obsessive disorder.  My brother told me the whole experience was counterfeit if I’d been smoking pot throughout it. But how could it be? I didn’t imagine the message from my old mountain mentor, or the word of knowledge that came to me from my lady mentor. There was the construction worker who’d seen a demon while trying to get his companion out of wicca.  There was my lady mentor describing demons and satan himself she’d witnessed. Their descriptions match some found in the Bible and are corroborated by Dr. Bree Keyton, who describes many in her writings.  All these strange God things and encounters with others were happening.  It wasn't all in my head.

     I was on fire for Jesus and learned after the fact that I’d had the symptoms of having been baptized in the spirit. The Healing House prophets had spoken right into my life on a few occasions. This wasn’t all fake.

     I’ve learned that the “open mindedness” from marijuana is dangerous. I believe we may be more likely to hear from the Holy Spirit but may just as easily let in, listen to and act on instructions from the enemy.  Dr. Keyton says mind altering plants let in earth spirits called divas and that smoking marijuana is practicing witchcraft.

      The Lexapro was wrong for me too. I was already somewhat manic in my zeal for Jesus, and later learned that a symptom of the Lexapro can be mania. I labeled my blog after part of my newfound drug induced disorder.  I turned into this joking description of myself.  I became a Raving Manic, the name of the deleted blog..  

     Those in the mental health profession will come up with descriptions or labels for our behavioral abnormalities but I think they’re just addressing the symptoms, not the root cause.  I’ve heard the description that during trauma, especially childhood, a piece of our psyche gets broken off and stuck in a part of the brain that doesn’t register time. Then as adults, the traumatized irrational child may come out in many different forms, addictions, behaviors, etc.

     Many will try to relive the experience over and over hoping for a better outcome but set themselves up for failure every time. Consider the abused woman who goes from one abusive relationship to the next, or perhaps the co dependent person who will quickly get into a bad relationship and stay in it when it’s unhealthy for him and his partner.

     I can say I believe it’s a spiritual disorder without turning heads, but if I get a bit more descriptive and say I believe it’s demonic possession and that the specific demons have a certain physical appearance and hierarchy, I’m usually met with disbelief.

     I have very little respect for what I saw of the secular mental health community. For a time I had health insurance that would cover it so I sought help from many sources, different levels of therapists, relaxation therapy and the like.  After a high dollar psychiatrist told me that the only thing he could do for the obsessive disorder I was struggling with was to up my already high level of Lexapro, I told him "No thanks," I need some other sort of healing, I did a bit of on line research. I learned that drugs are rarely effective for this malady so decided the help must come from God. As I was later told by a court ordered doctor of psychiatry, Lexapro can cause mania and I’d certainly developed that.

    I bought all of Dr. Keyton’s books. The Bible doesn’t tell us everything but God speaks to many of his people and teaches them. Around this time I asked my aging grandmother how she was able to preach church for a time with only a 6th grade education. She told me, “The Good Lord told me what to say.” I heard a man in a group say that God had told him secular music had something to do with the broken scrolls of Moses.

     In one of her books, Dr. Keyton describes the Jezebel and Elijah spirits which she says are forerunners of the anti Christ. As she was describing these in a small group, I remember joking that I was getting divorced from a Jezebel spirit.  She pulled two of us aside and spoke to us individually. She said something to a black pastor and later spoke to me. “I see you’ve been under attack by a Jezebel spirit, dig into your Bible,” “but I have been,” I interrupted,” “NO, I mean really dig into it and expect a breakthrough…” something about the order of Elijah.

     At the time, I didn’t think she’d overheard my comment about divorcing a Jezebel spirit but she may have. Was she giving me some word of knowledge from God or just encouragement?

     God seems to get a kick out of doing big things through messed up people.  I'm hoping He has something in store for me.

     I wasn’t stoned all the time, a bit delusional perhaps and definitely manic. I’d experienced a tiny bit of prophetic insight as previously described. This gifted woman of God seemed to be telling me I was going to be given the gift of prophesy. A Healing House prophet later told me, “I see your Bible bag glowing. You have some prophetic ability, God’s going to give you more.” I don’t know if it happened in my deleted blog or not but hasn’t happened in the 3 1/2 years since the bizarre experience, not in a clear message anyway.

     At the time, I thought God was raising me up as an end times prophet, but my blog got dirty here. It had been the happy little story of how science is bumping into God but went into attack mode. I thought I was “letting the word do the work,” meaning the written work, but I now clearly see that hadn’t been the message from my mountain mentor.  It is possible that by publicizing people and circumstances I may have protected myself.  I'll never know for certain but think Iwas being told to let Jesus do the work.  

     At the time I'd gone to GA, before the 18 day jail stay, the blog wasn’t entirely anonymous, a couple personal friends had been invited to read along. The woman had recanted and tried to clear me but I still had a legal mess going on which I blamed her for.

     Without mentioning my hideous behavior, which had a much more sinister appearance than hers, I joyfully attacked this woman noting all the parallels between her and the description of the Jezebel spirit. In hindsight, I was attacking another misfit child like myself.  I also attacked the catholic church which she was from.

     I did something of a book report from Dr. Keyton’s writings about how Catholicism has the most vestiges of the original pagan religion founded by Semiramis, wife and mother of Nimrod who had been slain by his great uncle Shem for idolatry. I believe this fact is Jewish tradition as I couldn’t find in the Bible.

     They may have been Nephilim, giants who’d descended from the pairing of fallen angels with women. Genesis 6:2 “…the sons of God saw that the daughters of humans were beautiful and they married any of them they chose.”

   According to Dr. Keyton who footnotes her sources, Semiramis created the first pagan religion after Nimrod’s death, making him the sun god and herself pre eiminent as the moon God. The auras behind the Madonna and child are revised depictions of herself with Nimrod.

     With the confounding of language, she became known by many names, Isis, Osiris, Hera, later   perhaps as Lady of the Lake. Is she now the mother of God the pope is so fond of?

     Nowhere in the Bible are we told to pray to the mother of God, or that a man can forgive our sons.  Lent is 40 days of mourning for Nimrod, we eat ham at Easter in revenge against the boar which killed Nimrod in Semiramis's version.  Easter eggs are a tradition carried down because Semiramis claimed to have been born from an egg.  They were decorated with blood from slain infants.  Christmas trees were tied to this, the decorative balls were representative of Nimrod's testicles and I won't get into Halloween here.  

     I was way out of my league in my attack against evil and in very dangerous territory. I later learned from Dr. Keyton’s main book, Stripes, Nails, Thorns and the Blood that we better be very careful about which evil spirits to take on and how to take them on lest we be destroyed in the process by a more powerful entity that even the angels are careful in dealing with. “Be rebuked in Jesus’ name” vs. the more direct, “I rebuke you in Jesus’ name,” e.g.

    To take on a fallen angel or higher level entity controlling an area or city, there’d better be a concerted prayer effort among churches with strong people in the faith leading the effort.

There I was, not knowing any better, trying to take on satan in a public forum. It didn't go well for me.

5. MIRACULOUS POWERS

     After my first 4 day trip to jail, my wife found proof in the form of some dated and time annotated writings of mine that I’d been at my house.  I was writing pages a day at this time either for a blog , personal correspondence or psychiatrist recommended journal and I would time and date writings.

   I timed them because I was trying to detail some spiritual experiences I was having and they were common for me for a time.

     For instance, “After sobbing and moaning for 5 minutes, I was able to get off the floor with this  feeling of great peace and was left with the knowledge of or instructions about something.”  God speaks to us any way he wants to, dreams, some hear His voice, perhaps coincidences in life, I've heard of a still, small voice but haven't experienced that yet.  God usually had to take away my motor control and drop me to the floor in a quaking, sobbing mess to communicate with me.  

     My wife sent a couple letters to the D.A. asking that charges be dropped.  I’d heard in jail that the lady deputy D.A. was tough on men.  I was puzzled when she wouldn’t drop the charges, if this went to court a lot of embarrassing facts were going to come out about a somewhat public figure, a gorgeous, glamorous high school department head.

     My attorney later explained that studies have shown that the majority of recantings by women victims of domestic violence are false.  Usually the incident had happened and the woman now wanted to reconcile and didn’t want her man getting in trouble. 

     Also, a series of phone messages or string of email that weren’t wanted, as people struggling with obsessive disorder are prone to make, could be considered harassment.  I did stop when she told me not to leave any more messages or she was going to the police.  Apparently she had her bad dream right after this and did call the police.

       A lady who became a mentor contacted me via craigslist and told me God had told her to tell me to get into a men’s group and go to The Healing House  in town for healing and a prophetic reading. 

     The Healing House, if you now google it, is headed by marijuana dispensaries, but it’s also a national organization with branches across the country, where people with spiritual gifts, especially healing and prophesy come together to help others. 
     My Lady Barnabas said she had been spiritually gifted since childhood and described for me the appearance of some of the demons she’d seen by what I later learned was the gift of discerning the spirits as described in 1 Cor:12. These descriptions were corroborated by other sources later on for me. 

     I was incredulous as she described a visit from satan himself who was trying to lure her away from God.  She said he appeared as a tall handsome man in a sharp business suit. 

     I doubted this but upon some subsequent experiences and the information that, just as we can have our own personal Jesus, we can have our own personal satan.

     The Bible suggests angels and demons move in the same unseen dimensions of our world.  As I previously wrote, look into Stephen Hawking’s string theory.  He may have found these dimensions.

         Miraculous physical and spiritual healings come of their work and comfort from prophetic readings.  I went for both casting out of demons and a prophetic reading.

     They rebuked and cast out many demons in Jesus’ name.  One guy was swatting them off my back like flies.

     The Bible tells us that the spirit doesn’t speak to us on His own, He only repeats what He is told. 

     Having worked extensively in electronics, I was once expert on a piece of equipment that had a master microprocessor that controlled a slave processor which was used for input / output. 

     Immediately after I’d written in my blog that I thought that was an analogous relationship to God and the Spirit, I read in my Bible, John 16: 13 -15,  …”He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears and he will tell you what is yet to come…”

     I believe the Holy Spirit is something of a conduit through which we speak to Jesus.

     The Healing House prophets don’t give specific advice as the forbidden clairvoyant might, but speak in generalities.  I described my experience in the blog I had at the time as The Grandma Prophet Council.  Knowing nothing about me or my circumstance, one woman could see me surrounded by flames.  I was on fire for Jesus and He appreciated my zeal. 

     This was a few months after my baptism of the spirit and I tried to bring up Jesus and God every chance I could, perhaps putting some people off.  She was right about my zeal.

     Another woman gave an accurate description of my beat up old briefcase and said I’d have everything in it I’d need for my trip.  I didn’t know I was going to take a trip. 

     I heard that I was to have an angelic visitation and experience transportation.  I don’t know about the visit, perhaps the man next to me on the plane home from my trip…but I haven’t experienced the transportation. 

     Isaiah 54: 17 was quoted to me, …”no weapon forged against you will prevail and you will refute the tongue that rises against you.”

     In my blog, I’d switched over from the happy little story of how science may be finding God and was anonymously detailing my experiences.  I think I took a wrong turn here, because I had fun with that last bit of prophesy.

     I wrote that there was only one tongue rising against me.  I didn’t set out to make this a self fulfilling prophesy but in hindsight did so. 

     After an 18 day stay in jail, which came after my second trip, described a few paragraphs down  triggered by sending an unallowed email while under restraining order, an attempt was made to institutionalize me. In jail I’d heard of an informant who’d been chained to a tree in a nearby state park and been found dead. It was claimed to have been done by corrupt cops. 

     This story may have been just a rumor, but I met a man in jail who’d been there for 4 years and he hadn’t committed the original offense either.  He’d had everything stolen by his former common law wife who’d forged titles, and a deed.  He showed me police reports and court documents proving violation of civil rights. 

     I was fearing they were going to do the same to me so as soon as I was released went public with a lot of embarrassing family information and details of what had happened to me.  I named names and told embarrassing stories of borderline sex addiction, pedophilia, multi generational lying, etc.  I'm sure God was not pleased with me but at the time I felt I had to do this for my own safety.  I certainly refuted the tongue that rose against me.

     Manifestations of my childhood trauma were obvious, sometimes reprehensible and certainly hard to live with.  I’d take a trivial issue that could have been easily nipped in the bud, blow it way out of proportion and make a huge deal out of it.  Uncontrolled behavior. 

          My blog had around 6,500 hits before it got deleted so I had condemned this woman.  I don’t think that’s what my earlier message from my mountain mentor, “Let the word do the work,” was about.

     I think I should have been praying instead of condemning, and perhaps accepting probation even though I felt it unjust, instead of trying to take down the local legal system.  More about that later.

     Chronologically in my bizarre experience, shortly after visiting the Healing House the first time, my builder brother offered me an incredible bargain on a property he’d built in the north GA mountains.  He’d gotten hurt in the downturn of 08 and sold me this cute little mountain home on a creek and a couple acres for well below cost.  Going to see this property was the trip the grandma prophets had seen.

     While in this rural mountain community, I was invited to attend some function being hosted by a friend of his who owned a meeting hall, formerly a boys home.  There I met an incredibly gifted woman of God named Dr. Bree Keyton.  Google her. 

     She’s on a mission to save the pygmies in the Congo.  By doing numerous miraculous healings, including raising 6 pygmies from the dead, she has brought tens of thousands of pygmies to Christ and her mission builds them villages, brings in provisions and tools, etc. 

     Raised from the dead? Really?  I found that hard to believe but Jesus tells us in John 14: 12 - 14, “Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father.  And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son.  You may ask me for anything in my name and I will do it.” 

     In 3 small groups of mountain people, I watched as God healed about 10 – 15% of us through this woman.  In one case, bones were heard creaking.  She lined us up and prayed for us individually sometimes blowing on us. 

     About 1/3 to 1/2  the women would pass out, slain in the spirit I believe is the correct phrase.  I was helping catch them.  We’d lay them down, then 5 or 10 minutes later they’d come to from their spiritual experience.  I was amazed and excited.  As previously mentioned, this rivaled t.v. fakery I’d seen but these were real people, not actors.  This was for real. 

     After witnessing God through this woman it was possible for me to believe raising dead pygmies.

     She’s written several college courses and books.  Her manual for Spiritual Warfare, Healing and Deliverance, entitled Stripes Nails Thorns and the Blood goes into detail the meaning and healing possible from each of the transgressions against Jesus.  She gives a description of various demons, how we let them in and how to get them out.  This might be unbelievable to most, but having seen this woman in action, I believe.

     On the way home on the plane, I sat next to a man who didn’t seem to doubt the story at all.  He questioned me if there’ve been any resurrections in western culture.  I told him I didn’t know.  He explained that our culture and beliefs tend to isolate us from much supernatural, both holy and demonic but said that the simpler belief systems in third world countries made both demonic possession and spiritual healing more visible in those cultures.

     Many in our culture who experience normal, fairly comfortable lives without major trauma or anguish may not witness any supernatural phenomena but I know it’s there, just beneath the surface.

     I believe demonic strongholds, frequently from childhood trauma or anguish may later manifest themselves as addictive behavior, uncontrollable behavior, compulsive disorders, etc.  I’ve experienced many.

4. CHILDHOOD DISORDERS, A LYING SPIRIT

      In the Serenity Bible, a companion to twelve step recovery, I learned how most of us have some peculiar, addictive or compulsive behaviors we have trouble controlling.  In the book, Biology to Belief, I learned how hard it is for us to overcome deeply ingrained sub conscious behavior.  The author describes how a Jewish concert pianist who'd been through hiding during Hitler's regime and had a deep seated fear of exposure, forced himself to fight against these ingrained behaviors to keep hidden, performed a brilliant public performance and was insane for the rest of his life.  I experienced a much milder version of this with child rearing.

     Growing up as the oldest of 5, with a father who had irregular sleep hours and was intolerant of kid noise, we learned to be quiet.  Normal, happy, healthy kid noise was sometimes slapped or belt whipped.  Some chore could be found for rambunctious kids.  I developed an association of normal kid noise with pain and can’t stand it to this day.  Loud adults also unnerve me.  My brother  has some similar issues though not as bad as mine.

     We kids learned to stay hidden and be quiet.  From 7^th grade on I buried myself in school books and did well academically.  After leaving home at 16, I was able to test out of several college classes.

     I developed a mental issue while raising my sons.  Attempting to break the chain of abuse, I tried to be a fair, decent father though was drinking alcoholically the first half of their childhoods. Having grown up with frequent belt whippings, thought that was the appropriate thing to do but will go to the grave remembering my oldest’s  anguished cry of “Daaad!”  during a belt spanking.  I stopped using a belt after that.  It didn’t seem right.  He was 7 or 8 at the time.

     Around the age of 12, I traumatized him again.  His younger brother was a small kid while he was well built and large.  Little brother was constantly trying to pick fights while the difference in size and strength was comical. 

     I suspect little brother was being a major pest and the oldest locked him in the jet ski trailer storage box for a few minutes.  As what I thought was eye for an eye punishment, one Saturday I told him to come get in the box where he was going to spend the afternoon.  I was going to leave him there for about 5 minutes but he didn’t know that.

     After the elapsed time when I was ready to let him out, I heard that anguished cry again.  “Daad!”  Both of these incidences truly hurt me more than my son.  Now, 20 years later, I still cry when I think of the anguished cries from that sweet, innocent child.  We shouldn’t traumatize our kids.  I believe it lets in demons or evil spirits, not the same thing, I'll describe later.  If they go through childhood with enough trauma or anguish, these things develop strongholds and will haunt them for life with various disorders.
     I didn’t want to be the same abusive father I’d had to my sons.  I wanted them to have happy childhoods and not despise me as I did my father.  I’ve apologized many times to them for my intolerance and harshness and they’ve forgiven me but I have a hard time forgiving myself.  I wish I had been more loving and affectionate.

     I felt the responsibility to teach my sons to work and fill in holes that parents often overlook.  I heard from a couple sources that kids performance in school is mainly due to fatherly encouragement.  I also heard that we tend to neglect teaching them about finances so I tried to fill in these gaps.  I taught them how to work on their cars and attended hundreds of hours of sports and school functions to show my support.  I wasn’t at all into watching sports but it was fun when one of my kids made a play.

     I had been used as cheap labor for hard work.  I appreciate being taught to work but always felt was paid unfairly so I tried to be more than fair to my sons paying them as much as I could justify.  I was a hands on builder and always had work they could do.

     My natural tendency was to be unreasonably demanding and hard to please.  I remember fighting against that telling myself, “It’s ok if I’m not getting my money’s worth from their efforts, I have a responsibility to teach them to work and give them some skills.”

     With a bit of what was unnatural patience from me, though they may not have seen it that way, they both became good helpers at many building trades.  The youngest loved to roof and I was happy to turn that chore over to him until he left for college.

     Around middle school both were doing mediocre work and complaining about how hard math was getting.  I remember explaining, “No it’s not.  The next step is no harder for you than a first grader learning 1 plus 2 equals 3, but if you don’t learn a step, you may get behind and never catch back up because math builds on itself.”

     I told them school was their job and if they didn’t do well, construction work wouldn’t be optional anymore as I was going to be sure they grew up with some skills.  From this point on they excelled academically.  My oldest found he had a knack for math.

     At the age of 21, he was grad student teaching 2 calculus classes, working half time in aerospace for United Launch Alliance, maintaining a 4.0 gpa with a 3/4 load towards his first masters.  In his spare time this super nerd trained and bench pressed 300 pounds.  That’s my boy!  I did something right in spite of my mental issues and broke the chain of abuse going back I don’t know how many generations.

     Regarding multi generational disorders, pysychiatrists may call them learned behavior, doctors and scientists may call them faulty neural pathways, but I believe Dr. Bree Keyton’s explanation, familial spirits.  These are demons passed down in families from one generation to the next. 

     My oldest, now with 2 masters in math and a certificate, is now in his second phd. program and currently lives with his family in Rome, Italy as a statistical analyst for the U.N. just because he wants to live overseas.  He can write his own ticket.

     The youngest hasn’t found his career path yet but banked 50K last year doing technical work for a big plant expansion on the west coast of Canada.  He’s an extreme sports enthusiast, skydiving for a hobby, doing flips on water and snow.  He’s bungee jumped in New Zealand, has a neat video of doing back flips as he parachutes out of a hot air balloon.  After enough parachute jumps, he wants to start base jumping and skydiving in a wing suit.  I wish he wouldn't but we have to turn them loose.

     They are the pride of my life, independent, healthy, happy, high achievers.  I like to think more because of me than in spite of me.  I tried harder to be their father than their friend.  Their critique of me is that I was too petty, demanding, intolerant of kid noise, but they knew I loved them and appreciate the way I prepared them for the world. 

     Having fought against my sub conscious tendencies while attempting to be a good father, I now have a disorder about seeing kids raised in ways I know will turn out badly and it’s been a problem in relationships I've had since my first divorce.

     It’s a frequent tendency in split homes for parents to compete against each other in winning the child’s love.  Too much is often given or done for the child and I know this is going to turn out badly. 

     The child is going to grow up and become an unhappy person.  He will have this deeply ingrained sense of entitlement.  It won’t be explainable but it will be there.  When the world doesn’t do for the child as mom or dad did, it will be the world’s fault in the eyes of this person.  Too much love can be as bad as not enough or even abuse.

     In my second marriage, the grown stepson had trouble with all authority figures, the employer, the landlord and law enforcement.  What’s really sad is that at some age, the parent will blame the child for being exactly as the parent raised the child to be, but it will become the child’s fault for being that way.  As his very classy mother crudely described him, "That kid's so f****d up you can't trust anything that comes out of his mouth," yet he was exactly as she had raised him to be.   Then, when we come of legal age we are responsible for our behavior, whether we can control it or not.  Dysfunctional people beget dysfunctional people as the Serenity Bible says. 
      In my second marriage, there was a multi generational lying spirit and I saw how it was transferred.  Simply accept a child’s lie to cover some minor misbehavior, do it dozens of times over the child’s rearing and you will raise a compulsive liar who can’t help but lie, perhaps to avoid responsibility, look good or maybe just spice up the conversation. 
    Getting back to my bizarre experience, shortly after my baptism in the spirit, the Holy Spirit told me to go to GA. for the month and something good would happen for my wife.  I didn’t want to go.  It was early November, my youngest son and I had tickets to go down for Thanksgiving, why drive down now.  “Go now” he persisted, so I did.

     At first my new wife was angry with this impulsive decision but agreed that some time apart might be good for our relationship.  I prayed much of the way repeating, “Let the word do the work,” though I didn't know what it meant and “The truth will set you free.” 
      There were serious issues with the teenaged son, the second of my wife's four sons and one of her 2 offspring from her marriage to a homosexual man.  This trophy woman had suffered anguish in childhood from not enough love and one of the manifestations was loving her sons too sensually.  The now 14 year old boy had late stage oedipal complex issues I could clearly see.  I felt if he were honest about this there might be some healing that could come from disclosure.  That was my reason for repeatedly praying, "The truth will set you free."  
     Unfortunately another manifestation my wife had was a need to look good and accept no blame for anything so she was deaf to my observations.  This issue came to light later when the boy, at 15, had his first girlfriend and instead of walking on air was talking suicide.  I heard indirectly that he acknowledged I'd been correct about the oedipal complex.  The marriage was ending then though with a restraining order against me so I don't know how it turned out.

        When I got to GA., I found my mother in the hospital, just having had hip replacement surgery and she had no one to stay with her.  I recall my decision to make the trip was affirmed in other ways as well. 

     Shortly after Thanksgiving was over, my wife denied my trip had had spiritual leading saying nothing had happened for her.  We were doing a lot of correspondence by email as we had separate residences half the time, a concession to her ex for my previous reprehensible behavior while having an obsessive episode. 

     A few days passed and she contacted me saying she thought she’d been leading me to God but that I was leading her.  She’d received a conviction about compulsive lying.  This was a deeply ingrained behavior and as we parted company soon after with a restraining order against me, don’t know about long term effects.  
     Hopefully in the eternal scheme of things, something good was done for His kingdom.  The Spirit had been right when he told me to go to GA.  I think that was a bit of prophetic insight from the Him.

     The Healing House prophets told me a couple months later, that I had a bit of the gift of prophesy from the Spirit and that it was to increase. 

     I explained in an earlier posting that after my baptism of the spirit, I was relieved for a time of obsessive disorder but unfortunately, it came back.  I’d uncovered a web of deception  from my new wife who I later learned was a compulsive liar.  It was passed down in this family. 

     I’d learned via my grown stepson that his younger brother was angry and rebellious because of all the men mom went through and disgusted that when she had no man, they had a wonderful, happy little family but when mom had a new guy, she’d neglect the kids for him.  This woman had been trying to fill a love wound from childhood with sex.  I wasn’t angry about her promiscuity, we’d already worked through that and I couldn’t condemn it with similar behavior of my own, trying to fill that same hole.  I was angry because I’d made it clear that with my mental issues, absolutely could not deal with a rebellious teenaged boy. 

     I wouldn’t have married her with this son at home but he was supposed to be finishing his high school years with his father.  This is what I wanted to discuss with her but she had a guilty conscious about her promiscuity and didn’t want to talk to me.  With our living arrangement,. she could avoid me. 

     The obsessive disorder took over and I was leaving unwanted messages and saying terrible things such as , “You’re right, you were a slut and still are a liar.  Talk to me, damn it!”.  She told me to stop calling or she’d call the police.  I did, but then she had a bad dream that I was pounding on her door with the intent to hurt her and called anyway. 

     I wasn’t there but was arrested  for harassment with the accompanying more serious domestic violence rider, which by law accompanies harassment charges in intimate relationships in the state of CO.
      My wife didn't know what might set me off into some episode, blowing things out of proportion, being verbally abusive and she'd had enough. 
     I learned from my oldest stepson that due to Mom's co dependence she had a bad habit of getting involved with bad men.  I was just another in a long line.  She told me about her previous boyfriend getting very angry when he stumbled across some email detailing a one night stand while he'd thought he was in a monogamous relationship.  She couldn't see how she'd done anything wrong.  They weren't married after all.  He was just another mean intolerant man.  I told her I'd have been angry too.  Perhaps the problem wasn't just bad luck on her part or the fact that all men are bad, maybe it's her perception of men resulting from their responses to her behavior.  We all create the worlds we live in based on our behavior.  We reap what we sow.
     She convinced her family and friends that all her problems were the men's fault, she was innocent and they believed her. She was just unlucky with men.  She attempted to blame me for the boy's oedipal complex.  I told her I didn't cause it, just pointed it out.  Her attempt at atonement for the boy's problem was a qualified apology, "If I did anything wrong raising you, I'm sorry."  Jezebel never repents according to Dr. Keyton.  
     Now that I've painted a picture of a sex addict who doesn't accept any responsibility for her actions, let's visit her childhood.  
     She was a beautiful little girl, the third child.  Both mommy and daddy were kind and loving.  She thrived on mommy's attention but couldn't get enough of it.  Her daddy was gone much of the time traveling with work and her brother and sister were always giving mommy trouble.  She tried to be perfect to get praise from mommy for being such a good little girl.  Mommy had some issues and would sometimes lock herself in her bedroom and read.  Whenever she could she tried to be mommy's helper.  She kept herself neat and tidy so as not to cause any trouble for mommy.  No matter what she did though mommy just didn't have time for her.  Then when she was 8, a little brother came along and mom was extra busy taking care of him.  No matter how hard she tried, this innocent little girl just couldn't get enough love. 
     The habits stuck and as she grew older she kept trying to be perfect and look good.  She felt alone and anguished in a house full of people.  
     She married a handsome man but he didn't seem to be attracted to her.  He didn't like the touchy feely stuff and told her to meet those needs with other men, just not to get emotionally attached, a horrible situation for a love starved woman.  It finally came out that he was gay.  
     She met and married another handsome man but he was very irresponsible and that ended in divorce too.  Now she tries to fill the love hole with men and doesn't like to be without one in her life but conflict always comes up and they all seem like bad men to her so she keeps looking for the right one.  Her intentions are good in the way she loves her sons but her actions aren't.  She'll look bad if she admits to any wrongdoing so there's some seriously ingrained denial.
     Her need to please and look good works wonderfully at work but not so well in the rest of her life.  How's God going to sort it all out when innocent children grow up with trauma or anguish, strongholds come in, then they misbehave as adults in ways they can't help?
     There are many of us misfits in the world and some of us are able to channel our defects into productive use.  My over analytical thinking served me well with all the details involved in building a house.  Some of us look very good to the world.  My wife and I raised out kids in a 5,000' log home we'd built almost by ourselves.  At one time we had a motorhome, boat, 2 jet skis, 2 snowmobiles and 3 dirt bikes, enough toys to treat our less successful friends.  I was the sole bread winner.  
     Denial is strong in most of us.  We fool ourselves as long as we can.  If we come to accept our problems we'll still try to hide them from the world.  Some of us seek help from secular sources with poor results.  Drugs don't work and may cause their own problems.  If we're to improve and get rid of the strongholds causing our problems, we'll have to get help from God.

    

3. THE GIFT OF TONGUES

     As Paul tells us in Corinthians, the gift of tongues is pretty worthless unless there’s an interpreter available, it’s good for edifying the person praying but not the church.  Prophesy edifies the church.  Tongue praying is a more personal thing. 

     I knew a man of God in the small mountain community where I raised my sons who had this gift and it was fascinating to watch.  He was a grizzled looking mountain man with a salt and pepper beard, stood about 6’3,” would come to church in his paint stained clothes from his sign painting business.  He had a bit of a paunch, was a bit intimidating looking but was as sweet and kind a man as I’ve known. 

     We had both left the small rural church we’d help build because our pastor was using deceptive means to do what many thought was a squandering of tens of thousands of dollars in his drive to build a mega church campus in this rural community that had no need of it.

     For instance, “All those in favor of joining us to do a mighty work for God, stand up.”  I kept my seat but how do you think that vote went?   At issue was whether or not to pay some fund raisers 30K to show us how to more effectively raise money from ourselves. 

     That was done twice, overpriced property bought at the peak of the market after God had closed the door when we presented our fleece in the form of a final offer a few months prior, etc.   

      My friend started a home Bible study and my wife and I ended up being the only attendees so I got to know him well.

     We were sitting around talking one evening and he said, “I was driving down the road today, praying in the spirit and having a hard time getting my mouth around all the hard g and k sounds.” 

     I was fascinated as I’d never seen this first hand and asked him about it.  “What were you praying I asked.  “I don’t know, I don’t understand the languages, I’m just turning the Holy Spirit loose to pray.”  He went on to tell me he’d prayed for the gift of tongues and been given it.  In the nine supernatural gifts described in 1 Cor 12, interpreting tongues is a separate gift from praying in tongues.  At this editing, the Sad Lady, described in posting #9, is the only person I’ve known so far who seemed to have the gift of interpreting what was being prayed. 

     How did it happen, did he have control over it?  “Yes” he said, I can turn it on and off like a spigot.”  I asked if he could show me. Sure he said and started praying in a fluid sounding language, perhaps Hebraic in nature with lots of sh sounds.

     To me this was proof positive of someone having made a serious spiritual connection with God.   As I understand it, tongues may be any language spoken during or since the time of Jesus when He gave the gift to the apostles for going to foreign lands. 

     This man prayed his wife back to life from certain death of liver disease.  This experience happened prior to my divorce from my first wife. 
     I next encountered tongues while separated from my second wife, in the middle of my bizarre experience.  A new lady mentor I’d found through a craigslist personals posting, told me by word of knowledge that God wanted me to get into a men’s group and suggested I go to the Healing House for a prophetic reading.
     If you google the "Healing House," it's now headed by marijuana dispensaries but it's also a national organization of volunteers with gifts of prophesy and healing who come together to help others.  Miraculous healing comes from their work, both physical and spiritual.  They rebuke and cast out demons, curing many of their spiritual disorders.  
    They'll also give you a message from Jesus by way of the Holy Spirit.  Without knowing anything about you they'll speak right into your life.  Specifics are given only about current circumstances though, encouragement for the future is given symbolically.  For instance as I was once told, "You're very confused right now, Jesus wants to calm you down."  I was manic at the time I heard that, on a high dosage of a drug for obsessive disorder that I later learned causes mania as a side effect and I was very upset and outraged about the legal mess I was in over an incident that hadn't happened.  Then about the future, "I see you in a boxing ring.  It looks like you're losing but God says, it's not over until He says it's over." 

     At my Lady Barnabas's suggestion I joined a men’s group and was later sitting around a table in a huge north CO charismatic church where I was the only man who couldn’t pray in tongues. 

     They said I’d experienced a baptism in the spirit and you usually got tongues after that.  They told me, “Turn your mind off and let the spirit pray, it comes up from the diaphragm.”  I was embarrassed I couldn’t do it. 

     I’d had my experience, later explained to me as baptism of the spirit, in early Oct, 2011.  I’d divorced my wife of 30 years and moved from the mountains to the front range of CO, but still chatted with my old friend occasionally.

     He called me out of the blue and told me the spirit told him to contact me with a verse.  He said, “This has been rumbling around in my head, “let the word do the work”.  Is that a verse, look it up?”

     The closest thing I could find was John 1:1, “In the beginning was the word and the word was with God and the word was God.  He was with God in the beginning.”  That puzzled me for a while, at the time I didn't understand it but I now know the word being referred to is Jesus.  

     In hindsight, I can see that this was advice from God on how I should handle the upcoming legal mess I was about to be in but I misunderstood. 

     At a psychiatrist’s request, as therapy for obsessive disorder, I was to start a journal.  As I started writing, these experiences began to happen and I wrote prolificly. 

     I’d had 5 years of foreign language when I left home at 16 so am fairly articulate for a worn out old construction worker. 

     The journal turned into a blog, starting out as a happy story about how the greatest minds in science, like Stephen Hawking are coming up with theories of our universe that God and His miracles would fit nicely into, but evolved into an attack blog against individuals and a legal institution.  I was to fight a battle against flesh and blood, not the right fight as Ephesians 6:12 tells us, “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”

    I tried to do things with the written word, not Jesus.  It didn't work out for me.

2. BAPTISM OF THE SPIRIT

 Note to reader:  Postings 2 through 8 are a chronology of my "bizarre experience."  I'll label them with a significant encounter in each posting.

     A few years ago in a state of extreme repentance for some reprehensible language I later couldn’t understand how had come from my mouth, I was on the verge of a very self sacrificing act. While in an episode of obsessive thinking from obsessive disorder I’d let in by years of hating my father, exacerbated by 3 or 4 beers, I had made a hideous statement to an ex of my new wife.

     I was going to make a sign and wear it 6 miles through a medium sized town, “I called a black man a n****r, spelled out.  I’m sorry.”  I didn’t care if people threw rocks at me or shot me for that matter.  I didn’t care if I died.  I was trying to humble myself before God and man to show true repentance for horrible behavior and salvage my marriage to a beautiful woman which was falling apart.  This particular man was an ex of my new wife and I was the step father to his two young sons half the time.
     I couldn't understand how this had come out of my mouth.  I didn't think I was a racist, at the time was mentoring a bi-racial young man as a construction helper on one of my jobs.  I was honored when he'd told me I reminded him of his black father because of my work ethic and character.  

     Thinking about my behavior later, as I described in Introduction, it was like my consciousness was there witnessing it, but not in control.  Many people with the malady obsessive disorder manifest this type of episode and act irrationally.    
     Unfortunately I’ve seen a strong spirit of denial in the lives of those I’ve known, they think they’re fine and won’t get help, but my behavior was undeniably bad. 

     Obsessive disorder varies from obsessive compulsive disorder in that it involves only circular thinking vs. circular thinking accompanied by repetitive behavior.  Is this a mild form of demonic possession?  Nothing like in the movie The Exorcist but a lesser version perhaps? 

     I had bought the material for the sign and was going to paint it and wear it the next day unless God made it clear to me He didn’t want me to do it.  On a long drive home from an out of town job, God touched me and left me with the message that I shouldn’t do this.  “Thanks for being willing but I don’t want you to do this.”  I didn’t hear words but received that message.

      I felt an incredible peace and feeling of well being, all these big issues were falling into place.  Every thing I was so stressed about was going to work itself out.  
     The best way I can think to describe the experience I had is a bit crude but I would say the incredible feeling of peace was orgasmic in intensity.  Prior to this experience I didn’t think heaven without sex sounded like too much fun but God had just given me a glimpse of something better than sex.  OK, I get it God, I think I might like heaven now, if my faith is strong enough you decide to let me in.

      When later discussing the experience with a spiritually gifted mentor, he asked me if I was holy enough to climb up on the cross with Jesus because that’s what I was trying to do.  

Edit: I just read that one of satan's fallen angels will cause us to try to atone for our own sin vs. accepting Jesus's love and forgiveness that comes with repentance.  

    Jesus already paid for our sins he told me.  Sure I owe the man amends but don’t need to sacrifice myself to the world. 

     For about 2 weeks after the experience, I seemed to be cured of obsessive disorder which had been going crazy in my tumultuous new marriage with 2 exes, 4 kids and other concerns.  I thought I was healed of this spiritual illness but it crept back. For months after, all I wanted to do was talk about Jesus, read my Bible or listen to Christian music. 

     I later read and was told by my brother who’d undergone the same experience that what I’d experienced was a “baptism by the spirit.”  My brother had drawn close to God with fear of imminent death from bladder cancer.  He had a complete recovery, maybe with help from God. 

     Thus began a bizarre several months of life during which word of knowledge came to me from several sources, I witnessed miraculous healings and the spirit gave me knowledge or instructions during quaking experiences I had.  There were also four trips to jail over a trigger incident my wife imagined and a messy divorce I didn’t want.  I dug my own hole with the legal system because of my outrage at being locked up when I hadn’t done anything, but had been reported to the police over a bad dream by my wife who had a guilty conscience at the time, and her own set of issues. 

     During this “bizarre experience” I distinctly heard from God several times.  I was a manly man at the time, a hands on builder with my own heavy equipment, I worked out daily and regularly went on 100 mile plus bicycle rides in the Rocky Mountains, but didn’t present a manly appearance when the spirit would come on me. 

     My experience was similar to that experienced by the religious sect called Friends, from which they got their nickname Quakers which they are more commonly known as now.  I would quake, lose strength, sometimes fall to the floor and uncontrollably sob and moan.  Afterwards I’d feel refreshed, invigorated and spiritually connected to God. 

     Once it happened in the gym and I hid in the showers, (really God, here and now?  This is embarrassing.)  I couldn’t stop crying or keep these moans from coming out.  That time I received a message that I was through being my new wife’s scapegoat and that my life was about to get much better.  I thought it meant that afternoon but God’s timing isn’t ours and I questioned God during the experience I was about to go through, which became the worst 3 years of my life.  At this editing, life is getting good again.
     Months later I googled “baptism in the spirit” and found an article by Matt Slick of Christian Apologetics and Research Ministry.  As he describes his experience and opinion about the baptism by the spirit, we who have experienced it aren’t super Christians, though we often receive tongues  or some other gift afterwards.  I didn’t get tongues but had a small experience with prophetic insight regarding a family situation.      I may have the gift of prophesy but haven’t seen much of it yet though have been told, (3 ½ years ago at this writing), by other connected sources that I had it and would be getting more.  I’ve been living way outside of  God’s will so haven’t heard from Him for 3 years.  At this editing, my sinful relationship is over and I’m starting to hear from Him again.  I think my purpose is to write a book.  Oh yeah, I guess a blog would work too wouldn’t it? 

     I think we’re in end times and that major chaos will soon be breaking out.  Mainstream churches have it wrong and I think God wants the word spread. In my opinion Tim 3:1-5 also describes churches, not just people as the verses read, “But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days.  People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money,…having a form of godliness but denying its power.”  Have you seen any miracles in your church lately?  If not you need to find a different church. 

     1 Cor 12:11 says about the gifts that “All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he distributes them to each one, just as he determines.” So there seems to be some arbitrariness as to who gets what determined by the holy spirit. 

     As Matt Slick explains about those of us who’ve had the baptism vs. those who haven’t, it’s like someone standing in a mist vs. someone in a torrential downpour.  They both end up soaking wet, it just happens faster for one of them.  His description of his experience is identical to mine, “an insatiable desire to read God’s word, to hear praise music and to speak of Christ.”  I knew I’d had a significant spiritual experience, after reading that I knew what to call it.